One-Eyed Panda’s Journal

Well it’s the last day of 2008 and I’m in a position I didn’t think I’d be in a year ago. To be honest I’m not too happy about it  – I am just realizing now how much I define myself by my job. I’m getting a little bored and depressed. Trying to read more and do some more writing in between my job hunting, but I am still getting frustrated sometimes (I feel pretty cut off from the world staying at home during the daytime). Usually that means I lose my temper when Roger does something naughty and I know I shouldn’t.

I know I shouldn’t really get frustrated either. I’ve only been off two weeks and I am not in finance troubles. I’ve got money saved up and there are opportunities that I am waiting to hear back on. Something will come through for me. But I guess I am becoming a bit too reflective today. I still think of myself a year ago when I didn’t really have a care in the world expect trying to get Winnie a visa to visit Canada — and we managed that, so I’ll manage this too. It just may take a while.

I need to go out tonight I really do. Not just the fact that it’s New Year’s Eve. I need forget about my frustrations for awhile and just enjoy myself. So I’ve decided to head out to tonight’s Cold Fairyland concert at the Melting Pot on Hengshan Lu.  

The concert is free but I’m not going for that reason. I really enjoy the band and own all their albums. I want to do something different this year. Something a bit different than going to a drinking fest at a hotel or karoake (which really ends up being the same thing). There won’t be many people there that I know. But that’s okay I just want to enjoy myself and forget my troubles for a few hours. 

Tomorrow is the start of a three-day national holiday here in China, so I plan to take tomorrow off from my job hunting anyway and just enjoy the day and spend a lot of time with Joseph Boyden’s Three Day Road. 

If you’re looking for a bit cheerier reflection on 2008 check out this great post from Biscuit.

Let’s hope for a better 2009.

J.

Well it’s a rainy post-Christmas Sunday. For me that means spending the day with a book and iPod. But for those that want a bit more of sensory experience try these links from Adam Schokora’s 56minus1 blog:

• Adam is producing a series of videos of his 93-year-old Chinese teacher,  Teacher Gui as she recounts her life in Shanghai. Very interesting stuff.
• Adam also posted an interview that UVic’s radio station did with former Shanghai expat Aric S. Queen about his time and escape from Shanghai. It’s about 30 minutes but well worth the listen as Aric is just an amazing guy.

I hope these stories brighten up your Sunday.

J.

I know it’s boxing day now (at least in China) but I still wanted to send out Christmas wishes from Winnie, Roger and I to everyone. Yesterday was a pretty quiet day for me. I spent half a day doing my job-hunting job and then in the afternoon we joined 17 friends for an amazing Christmas dinner in Xujiahui. 

Today, I’m just trying to relax. I spent about an hour and a half this morning doing job hunting and right now I just feel exhausted and still full of food from last night. I’m going to take it easy for the rest of the day. I usually don’t relax very well so I always have to have something on the go, but today I just need to take sometime for myself. So I’m planning to spend the rest of the day with a book. 

I hope your Christmas was equally fun and your plans were equally relaxing.

J.

According to my friend and uber-web-guru Ryan McLaughlin Optima-brand dog food that is available in China is tainted and a recall has been issued. It can apparently cause liver failure in dogs and Ryan’s dog Addie has unfortunately become affected by it. Let’s hope she pulls through.

The Olympics appears to be at fault for this. The import bans the government issued before the Olympics meant that Optima had to be imported from the US via Guangzhou and sit in a non-climate controlled warehouse where bacteria was allowed to grow on it.  I don’t know what to say except this is another supply chain failure for China as well as causing a lot of personal pain for many dog owners.

Roger is one of the lucky ones, he isn’t affected but that’s because our pet store doesn’t carry Optima.

J.

Today’s been a great Sunday. The weather has been rather crappy but my mood has been really uplifting. This is particularly good as I had a really crappy Friday. The day started out rather well with an uplifting post from Mr. Lonnie Hodge. Lonnie’s a great guy and his posts always have a thousand stories and everyone worth reading.  

I was also listening to the Hold Steady’s Stay Positive. It’s perfect music for a Sunday morning. Maybe it’s because the Hold Steady is like the bar band that made it big but still sounds like a bar band. Listening them on a Sunday morning reminds you of the events of the night before.

But I didn’t go out last night. Instead, we went for brunch at Malone’s for breakfast and then headed over to the friend’s place for the afternoon. The girls made cake and the guys, well we sat and drank beer and watched DVDs before we enjoyed the cake.

Right now it’s dark and windy outside and I’m at home in my office and I don’t want to leave. I’m warm and drinking fair-trade English tea from Marks and Spencer. CBC Radio’s The House is pumping out through my iPod’s speakers.

Maybe I’ll read some psalms later. I don’t know why — I haven’t been to church in a while — but I feel that in this time of struggle for me I am getting closer to my spiritual side. Maybe it’s because I have time to stop and reflect on things now. I was getting really agitated and anxious this week, because my job prep wasn’t really going my way. My Friday interview for a magazine editing job went well, but the job isn’t guaranteed yet. Another job that I had interviewed for about two months ago, even before I left my present company, fell through. I wasn’t surprised as it had taken them so long to make a decision but I was still disappointed about it, hence my shitty Friday.

I am not going to let things get to me this week though. I’m still going to keep job hunting but I am also going to take time and sit back awhile and reflect, read and write a bit more. Hopefully that will keep my nerves on an even plain.

Enjoy the rest of your Sunday.

J.

I’ve been playing around with Poloroid’s new photo tool for the Mac OS today. It makes the digital photos you take today look like old Poloroid photos of the 80’s. Take a look at this example:

Toronto Today

Toronto of the 80's?

Hat tip to Adam J. Schokora for first mentioning the Poloroid app.

J.

Adam J. Schokora made a great video of Lin Di, lead singer of Shanghai band Cold Fairyland playing the pipa unplugged. You can watch the video here.

J.

I ask this question and discuss it at a post on Lost Laowai.

J.

Today was the first day of the rest of my life. It’s the first day in five years that I didn’t have to get up to go to the office. I still woke up early – at 7:30am. I was in my new home office by 8:46am and I had already applied for my first job by 10 and by 1:30pm when I stopped for lunch, my head was spinning. I applied for a total of five jobs today. My goal was three so I’m a bit ahead of game and I guess in a way I wore myself out.

But jobs aren’t the only reason I’m getting up every morning. There’s also this blog and the podcasts I listen to everyday. I’m also really enjoying the conversations I’m having on twitter. I’m in the process of arranging coffee and lunch meetings through twitter this week. I’m also attending the FC Club media event this Thursday evening and I have a job interview on Friday so I’m busy. But I am also setting my own schedule and that’s the one thing I really like about this time. It’s not a race – I am still hoping to find something soon though – I want to make the best of this time and to use it to find something really worthwhile.

And at the end of day one I can say it’s going okay.

J.

Last night I attended a CanCham event for the charity Free the Children. It was a talk by the group’s founder Craig Keilburger and to sum it up in one sentence it was simply inspiring.

Keiburger spoke about how he came to found the organization and how he came to develop his philosophy of reaching out to others that he entitled ”Me to We” and how that philosophy can be used in corporate CSR. But you could tell that the audience wasn’t thinking about CSR after Keilburger’s speech but more about how they could cause change themselves. Keilburger is like a short, white Barack Obama.  One lady was even crying after the speech and you could see that everyone else was really inspired.

For me, it was a good boost to my feelings that I should keep pursuing my personal goals. I find myself falling and rising emotionally minute-to-minute based on responses I get from prospective employers as well as just general fear about my unknown future after next Monday. Last night’s event was like a flat plateau that I could take a rest on for awhile and let myself know that I am still going on the right path. I’m making the right career choice for me and I should continue with it.

Me to We: the Book

I’ve also been reading Keilburger’s book Me to We: Finding Meaning in a Material World. And it’s helping me to maintain that calming plateau feeling.  I know it sounds corny, but I probably can do better on job interviews and go farther if I stay calm. If I let emotion take over then there is less chance for me to demonstrate what I am the best at and why I should be hired for a certain job.  So I’m going to do whatever I can to stay calm. Getting angry or letting depression take hold of me won’t do me any good at all. So I’m going to keep reading the book for however long it helps me.

But besides the calming and inspiring factors, Me to We is really well written and it’s just fun to read. When I finish next week, I’m going to try to relax at home and this is one of the books I am going to be spending a lot of time with.

Give the Me to We philosophy a try yourself.

J.